October 20, 2008

dont know whats going on anymore. I need some sense of sincerity in my life. It seems like everytime I turn around, I'm hurt and I cant get back to the way I am supposed to be.
I am constantly secondguessing every step I take, glancing over my shoulder as if I was anticipating someone stabbing a knife into my back, cutting down, deeper than the blade should ever have reached in the first place.
I only find a tad bit of solace in my writing, regardless of the fact that what I write isnt well written at all. Its just... puke on paper. All disoriented, and ungraceful.
I am really grateful that my sister and I are getting closer again, I wouldnt give it up for the world. I feel as if I could trust her with everything. As if I was five years old, and I had given her my most prized possession. I dont know why, but it just has.

I ordered my phone, twice, and it turns out I got bad advice when I ordered the first phone, because it wasnt an equipment problem, but rather a defective sim card.
Fcuk meeeee. I am finally off the phone with the representative for at&t, I was put on hold numerous times, and the blaring elevator music has given me a fucking headache.


I am going to go. I miss my friends and my family.